I JUST CANT HELP COMPARING…

AND THEN FEELING DEMORALISED AND LOUSY AND TRYING TO FIRE MYSELF UP TO BE BETTER..

BUT THEN IT SEEMS TO BE TO NO AVAIL.

-DONT READ- its full of ranting.

rawr yes i noe i shld be happy tat concert is successful and awesome and stuff but rawr im still damn frustrated and irritated.

i dont want to be like pmsing or sth. but seriously im not a noe it alll or sth okay. why must i always be the one who noes everything and everything and telling your the answers to your questions? why cant your just go find out on ur own? look being a group leader isnt about being like a mother taking care of every single question you have and telling you specifically what to do. we are a team. im not the mastermind and your are the robots awaiting for instructions okay.

finee wadeva and then i tot i would feeel not so stressed and shitty aft concert and yes feel rejunevated as i had always been aft concerts. but here i am just as stressed and stuff. and yes tats the reason why im like sick for the 4th time this year and this time being so bad and horrible. i think im reallly facing coping issues, separation anxiety and wad not.. i cant even lapse into the scenario where i can emo for a while cry a bit and be all okay and start again. im just like trying to chug on and chug on and here i break down. it is seriously getting on my nerves how screwed up mylife is. how disorganised i am and how every single little thing would get on my nerves and then i plaster on a self i tot i am when i go to sch and meet people. and try as hard as i can not to reveal the nasty self within me at home.

wad’s wrong with me!!!

yes im damn upset and wadeva tat now i dont even want to answer ppl sms. its not tat i hate anybody or anything i just cant stand it tat im like some idiot here figuring out all the questions making sure i noe the impt things like just so that im able to answer those smses asking me wad is this and tat. okay its not tat those smses are a llot but pls if i can do it why can u!!!

i noe im ranting and fed up and wadeva so pls leave me alonee.

i need the energy to finish everything in one burst and collapse on bed